Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
