i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize