Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
