i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
