she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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