I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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