Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My balls are so social today.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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