It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
