ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize