ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My feet surprised me
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