a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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