i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
