woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
