guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
