is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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