Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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