apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
