he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
