So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
