His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
