so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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