Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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