at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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