she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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