dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.