I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
