He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize