So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
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The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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