I must be too annoying 4 u.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
