Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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