just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
