OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It's Friday. Sex?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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