I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
