Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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