Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
