No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
