I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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