Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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