We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
