i don't plan on having that self control this summer
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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