Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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