Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
