No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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