they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
