i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
