The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think people are normalizing furries
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
