wrigley field is MILF paradise
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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