I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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