I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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