If that was your dad, he is hot
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
