and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
