I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Alive.
So much puke
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
