i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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