Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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